Not Yet
by Moiras
Summary: After Zelos' betrayal, Lloyd takes a little more time to recover from denial and hurt. He's stronger than this, he knows, even though it burns. He'll mourn later for his friend.


**Disclaimer: **Not mine, story is.

**A/N: **I actually wrote this some time ago but I guess it wouldn't hurt to put it up here; it's just some drabble scrap…What with that tear-jerking optional ending from Tales of Symphonia. And the music is so cool when Zelos turns around to betray them. Oh yeah. Um. Spoiler warnings if you haven't finished the game. Heh. I really, really liked Zelos…REALLY. Zelos SO fought half-heartedly at the end and OBVIOUSLY preferred being killed to being a traitor. Ha.

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"Lloyd, snap out of it."

"We must save Collete!"

Lloyd Irving was on his knees, in the Tower of Salvation, shocked and motionless staring at the space where Zelos' body had fallen.

"Damned…idiot…" Sheena half-whispered the insult, the emotion in her voice trembling, the hand covering her face an excuse to hide her shimmering eyes. Lloyd couldn't think of anything, he couldn't even gather the strength to move. Not yet. Not yet.

"Lloyd," Genis said sternly, "We should hurry and go save Collete…Before it's too late."

Too late. It was already too late. Zelos had been so full of life, so bright and spontaneous…And to see that reduced to a little cold Cruxis Crystal in his hands shocked Lloyd deeper than he thought it would. Zelos had betrayed them. But even so, he had still trusted the red-haired Chosen. Even so, he had still cared for him. And now…

"I…killed him…" Lloyd barely uttered, his hands feeling the diminishing warmth and light of the crystal.

"Lloyd…" Presea muttered.

"But Collette…"

Lloyd shut his eyes to the offending prickles of tears threatening to show. "I just _can't_!"

A hand fell on his shoulder. It was Sheena. Her eyes showed Lloyd that she understood. He wondered if she had loved him.

"I…understand…" she said to him, in a voice that only Lloyd would hear, "But you will have time to mourn later. We can't afford to stop now, after coming this far."

There were so many things that were going through Lloyd's head. He had imagined seeing Zelos live to the end. And suddenly, so suddenly, he was…gone. Non-existent. He wouldn't hear another snide remark about him trying to save the world, or laugh silently at another cheesy pick-up line…Or see the glimmer in his eyes when he got serious and they'd have long and meaningful conversations. Not another laugh. No more of that carefree attitude on their bleak and perilous journey. Zelos was…

"-_gone_," Sheena said, this time more sternly, and half-desperate, as if trying to block the hurricane of feelings threatening to swallow her.

_C'mon Lloyd, you're stronger than this._

_His_ voice, warm and always with that exasperatingly cheerful edge to it. Lloyd blinked down at the red crystal in his hand; Zelos' source of life and his birthright to being Chosen. Lloyd was in denial, shaking his head, even if his friend's death was heavy and solid and so painfully real in his hands. We were going to go on a trip around the world, after this, Lloyd thought desperately, he had promised me.

"Lloyd!" Genis snapped, clearly shaken by this as well. They all were. Lloyd stood up, pocketing the gem and taking one deep breath, turning around to face his teammates seriously.

"All right, let's go."

They all smiled gratefully at seeing their leader recovered and nodded at him; they all knew that Lloyd had trusted the red-haired oaf more than anyone and knew that, after everything, Lloyd had had no choice but to face Zelos and battle him. Strangely, as he lay dying in Lloyd's arms, Zelos had thanked the boy, relieved and…peaceful. He wasn't a traitor at heart, just a wayward young Chosen, choosing his own dark path despite the help from the only person who could have changed everything. Lloyd fixed his twin blades, hiding his eyes from the others.

"Aren't you going to destroy the crystal?" Presea asked slowly, in that perpetually unruffled voice of hers. Lloyd smirked at her.

"Not until this is all over…I want Zelos to at least see the end and finish what he started with us."

No-one argued. As they all made their way higher into the tower and closer to their blonde friend in danger, Lloyd lingered behind them and looked back, sighing under his breath.

"You moron…You knew what would happen…and you still… You never blocked my last blow…" Lloyd tightened his fists, convincing himself that the burning in his throat would soon pass and he steeled himself, ready for what was to come. As he jogged to catch up with his team mates, he could see Zelos smiling in his mind, charming and as enigmatic as ever.


End file.
